Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize