i need an iv and a liver transplant
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
