I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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