HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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