I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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