we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
worst night to have a conscience
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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