i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
