I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
