I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
