My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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