3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
