Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
