Porn is love you can see.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
