I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
