whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
