I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize