he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
