Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
