Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
