I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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