I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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