i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
