Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
