some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
