mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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