So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
