put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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