I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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