It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
