im six kinds of drunk right now
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
