And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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