Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You ruined the universe
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
