You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it hurts more in the daytime
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
