In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
