I wish I only lived at night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
