she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do herpes really smell.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
