I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
