I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
