i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
