Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
