I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
