he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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