4 words: hood of his car
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
