the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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