Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
