I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
