so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
