I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize