Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
