so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize