I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
