just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
