if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
