i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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