when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
