Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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