I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
