i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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