Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
