i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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