It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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